|
The SAS, the Royal Marines and the Police decide to
attend a survival weekend in order to determine who is the best.
After some basic exercises, the instructor tells them that their next
objective is to go into the woods and catch a rabbit, returning with it,
ready to skin and make rabbit stew for their supper.
Night falls.
First up - the SAS. They kit up in infra-red goggles, drop to the ground
and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for five minutes,
followed by the unmistakable muffled 'phut-phut' of their trademark
'double-tap'. They emerge with a large rabbit, shot cleanly between the
eyes.
"Excellent!" remarks the instructor.
Next up - the Marines. They finish their lager, smear themselves with
camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into the woods, screaming
at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the night rings out with the
sound of machine-gun fire, hand-grenades, mortar bombs and blood curdling
war cries. Eventually they emerge, carrying the charred remains of a
rabbit.
"A little messy," says the instructor, "But you've achieved the objective.
Well done!"
Last up - the Police. They walk into the woods slowly, hands clasped
behind their backs, whistling 'Dixon of Dock Green'.
For the next few hours, the silence is broken only by the occasional
crackle of a walkie-talkie, "Sierra Oscar Lima One, suspect headed
straight for you..." etc. After what seems like an eternity, they emerge,
escorting a squirrel in handcuffs.
"What do you think you are doing?" Asks the incredulous instructor. "Take
this squirrel back into the woods and get me a rabbit like I asked you
five hours ago!"
So back go the coppers. Minutes pass. Minutes turn into hours. Night drags
on and eventually turns into day. The next morning, the instructor and the
other teams are awakened by the return of the Police, still holding the
handcuffed squirrel, now covered in bruises, one eye nearly shut.
"Are you taking the piss!!??" Screams the fuming instructor.
The Police chief gives a menacing glance at the squirrel, who squeaks:
"OK OK, I'm a f*cking rabbit!"
Back to Jokes Page |
