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Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border
checkpoint.
Paddy the officer stops them and tells them: "It is illegal to put 5
people in a Quattro, Quattro means four"
"Quattro is just the name of the automobile," the Englishmen retorts
disbelievingly. "Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry
five persons."
"You cannot pull that one on me," replies Paddy "Quattro means four.
You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law."
The Englishmen replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your supervisor over I
want to speak to someone with more intelligence!"
"Sorry," responds Paddy, "Murphy is busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno."
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How to improve a mans aim
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Two women friends, incredibly drunk and walking home got caught short.
They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their
business behind a head stone or something.
One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she'd take off her
panties and use them, then throw them away. Her friend however was wearing
a rather expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers but was
lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on one of
the graves and proceeded to wipe herself with that. They then made off for
home.
The next day one woman's husband phoned the other husband and said "We'd
better keep an eye on our wives you know, mine came home last night
without her panties."
"That's nothing" said the other "Mine came back with a card stuck
between her ass that said 'From all the lads at the fire station. We'll
never forget you'."
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There are three blondes washed up on an island.
Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish.
The first blonde asks to be intelligent.
Instantly, she is turned Into a brown haired woman and she swims off the
island.
The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, so
instantly she is turned into a ravishing redhead. The redhead builds a
boat and sails off the island.
The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous
two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge. |
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